Recipe for a good wedding.

Posted: October 16, 2006 in General

There are certain things that I wonder if I should write about. I have an opinion I want to share, but I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, especially when they are friends, especially when it’s something that is really important to a friend. Namely their wedding.

Planning a wedding is a stack of frustration and stress, and that can be multiplied by family pretty easily. Cara and I had it easy, our parents contributed money to our wedding fund, but made very few demands on us. We are pretty jaded about the whole thing, but we feel that we did a pretty good job, it’s probably unfair to compare anyone else’s wedding to your own (because yours is always going to be better).

One of the things that made our lives easy was that we weren’t forced to have a church wedding. I give my friends a lot of credit for finding the right person to marry them. It was a church wedding (and beyond that, it was a Catholic wedding), but the priest they selected was able to keep things light and even funny. Even the church they chose was very fitting, unlike many of the Catholic churches that I’ve been in (and this is a good thing).

My feeling about weddings is that the reception is the most important part of the wedding. The reception is where you get to throw a big party celebrating your new status a married couple. This is where all of your friends and family get to pat you on the back and say “congratulations”. There are a two vital things that need to be good to make a reception a success: music and booze. To a lesser extent location and food are important as well (of course there are dozens of other minor details as well).

Booze is easy, make sure there is enough selection so that everyone is happy, and make sure they don’t have to pay for it. Music is harder, you have to choose a good DJ (or band) and make sure they play songs that will keep your dance floor filled.

With the exception of the “no shot” policy (which apparently is typical of a lot of receptions sites), my friends hit a grand slam with the booze. There were several good beers (and they were on tap), and a large selection of top shelf alcohol (although there was a surly bartender, but that’s okay). The music, however, was a bit of a let down. With the exception of the first dance, the DJ didn’t play a single song released in the last decade, and most of the catalog was pre-80’s stuff. It was all the stereotypical “wedding party” mix. The dance floor was filled from time to time, but there was usually an exodus when the DJ would play the next song. I made several requests, but the DJ didn’t know who “Ben Folds” was, and refused to play “Van Halen”. The bottom line is that the DJ was probably catering to the older crowd (on purpose or perhaps by request), but it did leave many of us wondering when the good music would start.

The only other real complaint I had was about the time. The problem with morning weddings is that the reception starts (and ends) early. I find it hard to get into the “party” mood at noon. There wasn’t much that could be done about this though. One of the issues with having a Catholic wedding is that you are pretty limited when it comes to the time you can get married (you can’t really do a Saturday afternoon wedding).

I certainly don’t want to be a nay-sayer. I know that if someone didn’t enjoy something about our wedding I would have like to have known about it. I also certainly feel honored to be invited, and although I may have a few negative things to say, overall I think the wedding (and celebration) were a success. I hope my friends enjoy their honeymoon, and we look forward to hearing about their opinions on their wedding.


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